The Rock Of Royalty But Will She Ever Gain Respect?

by Thomas Hagey...standing in the shadows of love

LONDON, England -- Charles, Prince of Wales and his long-time love interest Camilla Parker Bowles were wed yesterday after a 35-year engagement. The wedding originally scheduled for April 8th needed to be postponed for one day in order for Charles to exercise his diplomatic duties, to be in attendance at the funeral of Pope John Paul II.

The Church did not take their issue of adultery lying down and first made the blushing bride and her Royal Mudwhump confess their sins to God and the Queen (although she has always been secretly aware of it) and ask for foregiveness before all. They promised to be faithful and to forsake all others by answering, "That is my resolve... with the help of God." Well it appears that God helps those who help themselves. The reward comes following 35 years of deceit, taped steamy verbal exchange, social intercourse, and secret rendezvous.

The 35 year timeline to this weeks wedding vows was perhaps the longest engagement in Royal history...but then who can say with any real accuracy? Many Brits, however, feel that if Charles had been as ambitious at loving Diana as he was at getting his royal subjects to warm up to Camilla, William & Harry might still have their mother...and Camilla would not be the Dutchess of Cornwall.

Countdown To Ecstacy

The following is a timeline of their unofficial (dare I say, illegitimate?) long term relationship:

1970: Charles and Camilla Shand, both 23, meet for the first time at a Windsor polo match.

1971: The two become close but the relationship cools when Charles joins the Royal Navy.

July 1973: Camilla marries her long-standing admirer, army officer Andrew Parker Bowles.

November 1977: Charles meets 16-year-old Lady Diana Spencer at Althorp.

Late 1970s: Charles and Camilla keep up contact and became close again towards the end of the decade.

February 6, 1981: Charles proposes to Diana.

July 29, 1981: Lady Diana Spencer marries Prince Charles at St. Paul's Cathedral in London. After his marriage Charles remains close to Camilla.

June 21, 1982: Birth of Prince William to Charles and Diana.

September 15, 1984: Birth of Prince Harry to Charles and Diana.

1985: First reports of difficulties in the royal marriage.

1992: The depth of the intimacy Charles and Camilla share becomes clear when the so-called "Camillagate" tape surfaces.

June 1992: Andrew Morton's book "Diana: Her True Story" is published, alleging she is deeply unhappy and has attempted suicide.

December 9, 1992: Prime Minister John Major announces Charles and Diana are separating "amicably."

June 29, 1994: Charles, in a television interview, says he was unfaithful to Diana after their marriage broke down. Interviewer Jonathan Dimbleby later identifies the other woman as Camilla.

November 1994: Authorized biography of Charles confirms his affair with Camilla. Diana gives television interview in which she says "there were three of us in this marriage."

January 1995: Camilla and her husband Andrew divorce.

December 1995: The queen urges Charles and Diana to divorce.

August 28, 1996: Final divorce decree is granted.

April 1997: Camilla takes a step into public life when she becomes patron of the National Osteoporosis Society.

July 1997: Charles hosts a party for Camilla to celebrate her 50th birthday.

August 31, 1997: Diana and Dodi Fayed die in a car crash in Paris.

October 1998: Charles and Camilla make a rare public appearance at a society wedding in London but arrive apart and avoid being photographed together.

January 1999: Charles and Camilla make their first public appearance together at a 50th birthday party at the Ritz Hotel in central London.

1999: Camilla meets Prince William and Prince Harry for the first time.

June 3, 2000: Queen recognizes the relationship by attending birthday lunch for King Constantine with Camilla present.

June 21, 2000: Charles kisses Camilla in public for the first time.

July 2, 2002: Camilla's first royal engagement in Edinburgh.

June 2004: Camilla appears for the first time in the prince's official accounts.

February 10, 2005: Clarence House announce the Prince of Wales and Camilla are to marry.

April 1st, 2005: The Pope unofficially dies at the Vatican.

April 2nd, 2005: Charles puts the Royal Wedding caterers on Red Alert.

April 3rd, 2005: Royal wedding appetizers are put back in the freezer to avoid a Royal food poisoning

April 8th, 2005: The Pope upstages the Royal wedding and is buried in Rome with the groom in attendance (as it should be.)

April 9th, 2005: Charles parades his Royal Trollop through the streets of London and the English countryside...and then off to Scotland.

God Bless them every one!